just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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