just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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