You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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