We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
