I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
