You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
