just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
