Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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