Pappa wants mamma naked
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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