Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize