Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I have demons in me.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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