im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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