let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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