there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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