Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Randomize
