Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
