More tranny stories later!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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