He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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