I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
