Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
