I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
