Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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