Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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