Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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