that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
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Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
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but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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