he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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