Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
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I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
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In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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