Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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