While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
