I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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