so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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