Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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