I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
