omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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