Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  grinding to god bless the USA? really?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  shut up

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  (702): grinding to god bless the USA? really? (860): shut up http://tfl.nu/llw2
  Replies (12) Good night (963) Bad night (1280)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.

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  (715): He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat. http://tfl.nu/ain9
  Replies (88) Good night (979) Bad night (13388)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me

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  (408): ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me http://tfl.nu/23c1
  Replies (18) Good night (1415) Bad night (6307)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.

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  (817): I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that. http://tfl.nu/nbo5
  Replies (27) Good night (940) Bad night (5652)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...

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  (203): i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room... http://tfl.nu/dscd
  Replies (17) Good night (757) Bad night (8148)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"

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  (860): I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John" http://tfl.nu/1on0
  Replies (19) Good night (4633) Bad night (1421)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out

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  (732): Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out http://tfl.nu/au0t
  Replies (33) Good night (2929) Bad night (5930)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds

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  (303): Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds http://tfl.nu/arjt
  Replies (14) Good night (2571) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.

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  (330): Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea. http://tfl.nu/s5sl
  Replies (4) Good night (2448) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.

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  (731): Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us. http://tfl.nu/v50h
  Replies (6) Good night (2980) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles

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  (631): You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles http://tfl.nu/nfjp
  Replies (12) Good night (2619) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.

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  (705): I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka. http://tfl.nu/tvfv
  Replies (10) Good night (1240) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.

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  (901): he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there. http://tfl.nu/fd7u
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.

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  (904): I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night. http://tfl.nu/zawb
  Replies (1) Good night (266) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today

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  (334): I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today http://tfl.nu/v8gh
  Replies (0) Good night (249) Bad night (368)

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