my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
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You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
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The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.