Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
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She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
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all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
This is classic penis vs brain.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.