I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.