You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering