btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
