It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
