Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
