I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
