small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
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all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
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