It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
