You smell like stripper and shame
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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