Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
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He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
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My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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