I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
