He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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