you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
