it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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