he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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