We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize