pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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