if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
