I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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