Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
