Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize