How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Quick, to the slutcave!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
