apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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