I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
